freaky friday
11.16.2024 | 3:33am | Saturday | freaky friday
i never said I wouldn’t tell anybody…
In the backseat of a rideshare, three 45-year-old lady passengers shared an overly candid conversation that danced between humor and discomfort. They laughed about the concept of "magical pussies," attributing all sorts of mythical qualities to the encounters they had experienced over the years. The tone shifted as they waded into the challenges of intimacy, with one member of the group bringing up anal sex and the awkward realities of managing hemorrhoids. Their banter was laced with a mix of vulnerability and levity, revealing how their bodies had changed but their desire for connection remained a persistent theme in their lives.
^^^^^* this is the AI rendition of the story 😬😅🤷🏽♂️ [semi-accurate] here’s my experience…
first off, I am not a medical doctor and o have no hippa laws to abide but I will leave names out of this for obvious reasons, and because the AI paragraph already spoiled the story I’ll paraphrase my version.
Magical P
The part ai could never understand is… this was bar close hours in “rural Wisconsin” aka Oconomowoc. I had to drive 18 minutes for the pick up not knowing what to expect at 12:39am relatively early for Friday night. I see three beautiful ladies. Who were between 40-45 and honestly could all easily pass for 32 toasted off the wine and white claws I’m sure. They didn’t hold back in conversation. One blurts out “I’m a unicorn” and maybe my perverse mind already knew where that was about told lead and she continues “actually I’ve been told I have a “magical unicorn pussy””
So she goes on to say this guy she dated in her 40’s got her a unicorn stuff anima that she thought was stupid and ridiculous to keep and decided to give it to her neighbors children which I thought was a little strange but we were all laughing having a time.
freaky ahh lady
It was a vibe. I’m typically uptight and shy and it usually takes someone else’s welcoming energy to open me up and bring out the best version of me. Naturally, three freaky girls would bring out a fun side [smirk face emoji] there were so many little side conversations between all four of us in between but then this girl talk about her back door and after everything she said pauses to ask if it’s okay to get personal. Clearly, we are already there fire away miss lady. She says do you like the back door?
Would you ever back door a girl with hemmorhids? [shocked face emoji]
But I was like …. Well, there’s this one girl that could probably get me to do to anything she wanted under any circumstances but anyways, to answer your question, I think it could make it interesting. Shrug.
would you?
I wasn’t about to explain what I was saying. She was confused by my answer saying it could be interesting. I was trying to say that I don’t know the Webster dictionary definition of hemroids and never bother to google it but only the street knowledge of being like veins exposed in your ass???? [im about to google it now and finished this paragraph … brb]
welp!
After seeing medical diagrams it doesn’t look visually appealing, pero…. I’m sure it maybe be a different sensation than the healthy backdoor that might provide a “magical” experience, but as of right now, I don’t think it’s in the cards [unless whassaaname got them hemmi’s] but I left her with I’m not necessarily opposed to the idea, just never been there.
I get to the destination and they hop out; the chatty one dropped her keys and sat back for a minute, the friends came to my window teasing my like I think she was a little alone time with you, she needs it. I’m laughing it off helping her get her stuff to leave and I was on my way.
pondering
my brain is quick witted sometimes ready with a smart comments, other times my brain will replay moments in my head and analyze what the fuck actually just happened and I was in the car thinking about shit I could’ve said that would’ve been way smoother than the shit I actually said.
I’m like you idiot… [to self]
When she asked if I’d ever backdoor a girl with hemorrhoids
Why didn’t I just say …
only if she has a magical pussy.
but I’m an celibate man and I don’t freak my passengers and I have no business getting this lady all hot n’ bothered on her girls night out.
So here I am alone in bed wondering if whassaname got a 🪄🐈